Saiyuki: On
by Chibisensei110787
Summary: Saiyuki characters' musings on various topics concerning each other, their situations, & things that don't make a lick of sense. Totally random and not serious in the least. OOC at times.
1. Hakkai: On Travel & Blood

Chibisensei: Hello minna-san, Chibisensei here with her first Saiyuki fanfiction 3 My main muse is currently locked up in the local psych ward for being sadistically dark & twisted, so I get to try out a humor fic, haha. Seriously, though, happy, sun-shiny kumbaya stories are not my specialty. Anyway, nothing here should be taken seriously as it is all for fun. I would greatly appreciate reviews, but please no flames. I do know some of these points have been brought up already, but I didn't want this drabble to be too short. Enjoy anyway (^^)

Disclaimer: 1-2-3, Saiyuki doesn't belong to me!

Drabble Summary: What kind of things might Hakkai ponder while trying to ignore the noise around him?

Hakkai: On the Topics of Travel & Blood

Today is another normal day. I'm driving in the middle of nowhere; Gojyo and Goku are arguing; Sanzo is threatening murder; and poor Hakuryu is just putting along in silence. I honestly wish we had another mode of transportation so my little friend wouldn't have to be put through much stress, but the alternatives are limited and there is no way in hell I am riding a bicycle to India. Especially, since the only ones that seem to be sold around here are more appropriate for school aged girls than fully grown men. I would really hate for people to get the wrong idea about us.

Speaking of alternative transportation, is it possible for Kougaji's dragons to really be that much faster than Hakuryu? Kougaji and his group have caught up and confronted us on multiple occasions despite the fact that they are coming from a destination we have been traveling well over a year to get to. I suppose part of the reason could be because they experience a lot less…problems…in the air, but that still doesn't explain the discrepancy. I closed my eyes. Perhaps I'm just overanalyzing the situation. Either that or the map I've been following the past few months is mislabeled and/or outdated. It is possible since the key only charts our journey as being some 500 such miles, but I hope that's not the case. If it was, I'd have to hunt do-er, find, the cartographer and politely ask him to correct his mistakes so other drivers like myself don't have to have their sanity tested on a daily basis for months by their kind, considerate friends. One of which was now firing bullets at Gojyo for mocking his chastity. I really hope those stray bullets don't hit someone. I'm still trying to figure out where Sanzo buys the seemingly endless supply since they're never on my list of things to get and I know for a fact that he didn't have that much ammo 4 days ago. The funny thing is that we've haven't been in a town for over a week.

I shook my head slightly at the thought of the angry monk. To be entirely honest, I'm not sure how he's still alive. We all have had brushes with death during this journey, but Sanzo should have been killed months ago in the confrontation with Shuei; but not by Shuei himself. On the contrary, the "Merciful" Goddess would have been his murderer. Gojyo may have had "spare blood", but between he, Goku, and myself, his blood was the ONLY one that could NOT have been compatible with Sanzo's. Biologically speaking, the best donor for Sanzo would have been Goku since his blood type is O. I may also have been a matching donor since I am AB, but this also brings up another question. Even though Gojyo is half human, he is also half demon so wouldn't his demon blood have affected Sanzo in some way? Perhaps, that's why Sanzo has been grumpier than usual? I chuckled to myself. Oh my, I'm overanalyzing again. I suppose the phrase "divine intervention" explains it all. The ruckus in the back seems to have finally quieted down now. Ah, sweet silence.

"Um, Hakkai?" started Goku. He sounded a bit disturbed.

"Yes, Goku?" I replied with a smile.

"How are you driving with your eyes closed?" I slammed on the breaks.

END


	2. Goku: On Roommates & Dirty Jokes

Chibisensei: Hi again! I really appreciated the reviews I had gotten so here's another chapter (^_^) Also, if you have a request for a certain character, I'll be happy to come up with something. Enjoy and remember: this is all for fun and reviews are greatly cherished!

Drabble summary: Can Goku think about more than just food?

Goku: On the Topics of Roommates & Dirty Jokes

I hate this. Every time we get to an inn, there is never enough to go around, even when there's no one else around! I sit down on the inn bed with a huff. I don't get it. I never see any of the other guests, and yet, all the other rooms are somehow full so I always get stuck with that pervy water sprite! Why can't I share a room with Sanzo? I can be quiet, he knows I can if I really really try, so why does he keep making me stay in the same room as Gojyo? It doesn't make sense! I stayed in the temple with Sanzo before this whole journey thing started so shouldn't me and him be roommates by default? What makes Hakkai better than me? He's not the quietest sleeper. I hear him mumble in his sleep all the time when we camp out. Last night, I heard him muttering something about becoming a stunt car driver. I don't think he's woken up from that yet. I cross my arms with a frown. Sharing a room with Gojyo is like sharing a room with a septic tank: he smells weird and he's full of shit half the time. I wouldn't live with him for all the meat buns in the world.

"What's with the scowl?" I hear Gojyo ask from the doorway. He must have just gotten back from whatever he was doing, not like I want to know.

"Just thinkin' about things," I reply. I hear his laugh.

"Let me guess: breakfast, lunch, & dinner," he mocks.

Mmmm…breakfast. The thought makes my mouth water slightly. I wonder what we're going to eat-wait, no! I can't let the thoughts of delicious food distract me! I glare at Gojyo. "I was thinkin' about why I always have to share a room with a water sprite."

He takes out a cigarette and lights it. "Really? 'Cause I was only coming back for my other pack of smokes." He smirks and crushes the empty cigarette pack, tossing it on top of the slowly growing pile of trash on the floor. "I have much better company in mind for tonight."

I watch as he bends down and begins to rummage through the junk he just added to. He finds what he's looking for quickly enough and begins to walk out the door.

"Have fun with yourself," I state. He chokes on his cigarette smoke and stares at me. I'm not sure why he looks so shocked.

"What?" I ask. Gojyo blinks a few times and shakes his head, obviously deciding that he shouldn't say anything. He turns and leaves without a word. I begin to laugh. Yes, I did mean that in the worst possible way. I'm not as (what's the word Hakkai used…naïve?) as some people think I am. I'm 18, not 12.

"Shut you up you stupid monkey!" I hear Sanzo bellow from across the hall. "I would like some peace and quiet!" My laughter died down. Maybe if I give him the peace and quiet he wants, he'll let me switch rooms next time. I'll ask him at breakfast tomorrow. Which reminds me…I'm hungry.

END


	3. Gojyo: On Weather & Chastity

Chibisensei: Here's the next chapter! I send much love to my wonderful reviewers & hope you enjoy this one as well! By the way, these drabbles are not in a set order as far as timeline is concerned. Each chapter stands alone. Happy reading minna-san and please review (^_^)

Drabble summary: What does Gojyo muse on when it rains?

Warnings: Language & the mentioning of sex (big surprise, ne?)

Gojyo: On the Topics of Weather & Chastity

I felt the first drop walking back from the bar. I didn't even get a decent curse word out before it started pouring. It figured with how shitty my luck has been today. Then again, I can't count cards in Black Jack like I KNOW Hakkai can. The bastard probably went to a "correspondence course" on that too. So, now, here I am, drenched like a drowned rat; under a tree; in the middle of a fucking monsoon. I should have known it was going to rain when Hakkai said he wasn't up to going to the bar for a drink. That and from the lousy monk barricading himself in his room. Yup, the tents for AngstFest have been pitched once again. I hate the fucking rain; especially because the mood of 2 of our group depends on it not raining. It's not like I care about the monk, but he's worse than a bitch on the rag when it's like this. I don't like seeing 'Kai all depressed either. I know during that thing with Hazel that he said he was starting to feel like he could move on, but I don't think the rain will ever stop haunting him. I shake my head. Five years ago, I would have never guessed I would share a place with a masochist. Seriously though, can't that goddess chick open up a cloud or something so that it doesn't rain wherever we are? For all the shit we're going through, she at least owes us that much. I would bet Sanzo's credit card that the lady is sittin' somewhere right now and laughing at me. The tree isn't providing much cover from the rain anymore, so I might as well walk back in it. I up look at the sky with a scowl. What did I do to deserve this shit? I start to trudge through the quickly flooding streets.

"Sheesh, if it keeps on like this, I'm going to need a damn ark," I mutter to myself. If the bar hadn't been a total sausage fest, I could be with some hot babe right now taking advantage of this weather. I wouldn't mind a good roll in the mud. It beats the hell out of the Festival of Gloom waiting for me at the inn. Gloom contagious, you know.

Speaking of a good roll, I'm sure Sanzo wouldn't be so pissy if he had one. I don't know why that monk insists on staying a perpetual virgin when he broke pretty much every other rule of Buddism. I can understand a guy worrin' about his performance in the sack, but I'm sure he'd get the hang of it with practice…maybe. Probably not. I had asked Hakkai once about how his sex life had been and, by the look I got, knew he was contemplating ways to kill me in my sleep for opening my big mouth. 'Kai's not real forthcoming on the subject of sex, but I can get an opinion out of him from time to time (however short it is). As for the monkey, it'd probably be 200 years before he gets laid. The kid has a lot to learn and he certainly won't get anything useful out of Mr. Chastity. The monk would fuck everything up anyway. It takes a true master of the art to give him the proper information. I never had any problems. No woman has ever been left unsatisfied with me. Chastity? Who needs it?

As I reach the inn, I can see a small break in the clouds in the distance. It's still raining cats and dogs, but at least I'll be dry soon. I stuff my hands in my pockets and freeze as I finally realize something. I forgot my cigarettes.

END


	4. Sanzo: On Enemies & Stress

Chibisensei: Hi again. This is Sanzo's chapter (and the longest one yet). I wasn't quite sure how to pull his POV off. That is, until 3 twenty-something year old guys I didn't know took the opportunity to invade my privacy by messing with my computer in the middle of the college library * forced smile*. Oh yes, I was fuming mad when I wrote the majority of this chapter. Anyway, thanks again for the lovely reviews and I really hope you keep them coming. Enjoy!

Drabble summary: What does Sanzo really do when he's supposed to "watch the [inn] room"?

Warning: Strong language from a very pissed off monk

Sanzo: On the Topics of Enemies & Stress

Gojyo, Goku, & Hakkai have been gone for about 10 minutes now. I light a cigarette and stand up from the inn bed. Like hell I'm going to watch the fucking room. If it wasn't for those bastards, I wouldn't have to leave it! I lay my cigarette on the nightstand temporarily as I crouch to slide my personal bag out from under the bed. I unzip it and rummage through the hidden pocket on the inside. I scowl irritably. Great. Just when I thought my day couldn't get any fucking worse. Goku's whining, Gojyo's idiocy, and Hakkai's Hakkai-ness was intolerable enough; this is overkill. I swear, if I ever see that goddess again, I'll fucking kill her. I stand up and retrieve my cigarette. I guess I have no choice but to buy more at the general store. My scowl deepens as I remember that Hakkai has my credit card. He's worse than a woman when it comes to "window shopping" and, yes, that's exactly what he does. Why the hell else would it take him 4 damn hours to buy a head of cabbage? I walk to the door and yank it open. I'm going to get my card back and if any of those bastards ask why, the "Sanzo Party" will be a member or 2 shorter. That's a promise.

* * *

The sun is hot today and I could feel whatever patience I have left dripping out of my body as I walk through the crowded marketplace. Maybe if I fired off a shot or 2 enough people will scatter for me to find Hakkai & Goku (who BETTER be with him). The hell if I care where the damn water sprite is. A familiar demonic aura causes me to grit my teeth in annoyance. There is no fuckin' way am I dealing with this right now.

"Hey droopy eyes, hand over the sutra!" calls the pain in the ass female-Goku. I keep walking. Just ignore her and maybe she'll drop dead. She runs to the side of me and starts yanking on my sleeve.

"Hey baldy, I'm talking to you!" she continues. The vein that has been throbbing on my temple for the last 10 minutes is now threatening to burst out of sheer aggravation. I reach into my left sleeve and pull out a meat bun. I hand it to her.

"Here, have a meat bun," I say dully. Thank you Master for teaching me the fine art of pulling things out of thin air.

The female-Goku's mood changes instantly and she swipes it from me. "Don't mind if I do!" she chirps, munching on it happily. Match over, I win again.

I put my thumb and index finger on the bridge of my nose. What a headache. If this brat is here, that means those other assholes aren't far behind. Fighting with that group is a pointless waste of time. "Mortal enemies" my ass. For the water sprite & his brother, the fights are bouts of sibling something or another. For Goku & the reggae reject, they're a way to show-off. And for Hakkai & the medicine chick…everything's all fucking sunshine & daises with them. They're all useless. I toss a glare at Lirin, who is still following me. Am I the only one who still hates these bastards?

"Do ya have any more baldy?" the female-Goku asks. My eye is twitching now & it takes everything I have to pull out another meat bun instead of my gun. At this rate I'm going to rupture an aneurysm. God damn brat. All I want is to get my credit card, get what I need, do what I have to do, & get back to the inn for the nice, QUIET "me time" that I had to sacrifice. And I WILL get my "me time". I have plenty of bullets and I WON'T miss. I sense a few more familiar auras approaching & am not sure whether to be more or less pissed.

"There you are Lady Lirin!" exclaims the medicine chick, walking over. "How many times do I have to tell you not to leave the castle on your own? I've been looking all over for you!"

Lirin puts on a pout. "But it's so boring there & I wanted to play with baldy!" I hear a chuckle from nearby.

"Ah, it seems Sanzo found her," speaks Hakkai, making his presence known.

"She found me," I corrected with a growl.

"Sanzo, are you ok?" asks Goku, also walking up to me.

"Just peachy," I grind out. Ignoring the fact that Gojyo was also there, I walk over to Hakkai and hold out my hand. "Credit card. Now."

Hakkai blinks. "But we haven't gotten the supplies yet. We ran into Yaone shortly after we left and-."

"CARD. NOW." I repeat.

"Ok, ok," says Hakkai, taking out the card out of his pocket and handing it to me. Pocketing the plastic in my sleeve, I walk away, disregarding any protests or questions to the action. I want out of this fucking heat.

* * *

I walk into the general store and quickly realize I don't know what aisle to go into. There is no way in hell I am going to ask. With my robes and sutra, I already stick out like sore thumb.

"Sanzo…" starts a voice from behind me. Hakkai again. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"What do you want?" I ask, not really interested in the answer. I had more important things to care about.

"I got it for you," he continues. "Gojyo and Goku don't know, of course." I turn and glare at him. How much does he know? More importantly, HOW does he know? The look on my face must have given away my suspicions because he laughs nervously. "I didn't invade your privacy, Sanzo. It was something I noticed on my own." Homicide is now at the forefront of my mind. He knows. The bastard smiles that fucking annoying smile of his at me.

"There's no shame in using a little hair dye," he says. "After all, stress has been known to give men a few grey hairs." The vein finally popped. He's dead.

END


	5. Hakaryu: On Bonds & Tolerance

Chibisensei: Thank you so much for the reviews, minna-san! They help keep me writing these drabbles :) I am having a blast doing them & it's a good way to get my mind off of the sad fact that my life now revolves around studying. They're short too so I can update pretty quick. Anyway, this is Hakaryu's chapter. I took a shot in the dark as to his POV, but I thought his personality was portrayed well enough to make some guesses. Then again, OOC can be an element of these drabbles so…yeah, I tried. For convenience's sake, this chapter will take place in the same timeframe as Hakkai's. Enjoy!

Warning: Dragon cuteness and syrupy sweetness

Drabble summary: Why does Hakaryu put up with the Sanzo Party's antics?

Hakaryu: On the Topics of Bonds & Tolerance

Desert. Everything ahead of me is desert; a dusty, hot, arid wasteland. I'm not complaining, but being driven for hours on end would be a lot easier with better scenery. Despite what my passengers may believe, my master, Hakkai, is not always driving me. On long stretches of smooth terrain, he squeezes my steering wheel (which is equivalent to the patch of "baby skin" on the back of my neck) slightly to signal that I can have control for a while. The act is thoughtful and I appreciate it greatly. It makes me feel like an equal rather than a pet.

I remember it was snowing when my master and I first met. It was so cold that I was forced to fly into the city to find a warm shelter. Because it was winter, I hid in more public areas to wait for a chance to sneak in somewhere. I lost feeling in my wings when the wind picked up & I acknowledge the fact that I gave up then. I was so cold that every body part I moved felt like it would break off. So I stopped moving. The snow started to pile on me & I closed my eyes in defeat. Then, I heard voices; two of them. I was wary of humans and demons, but I didn't want to be cold anymore. I didn't want to die. I let out a weak "kyuu" to draw attention.

"Did ya hear that?" I heard one ask.

"No," answered the other. "What did you hear?" I let out another weak call.

"I think it's coming from this way." The shuffling of feet coming my way told me I succeeded. The footsteps stopped and I felt the snow being brushed off of me. With blurry eyes, I looked up and saw a red-headed man.

He looked at me as if I had 3 heads. He turned his head to the side. "Hey Hakkai, you better come over here and look at this." Another set of footsteps approached and another man suddenly stood in front of me. He had brown hair and wore a pair of glasses.

"Oh my…" "he [Hakkai] stated, not quite sure what else to say. The brown haired man quickly scooped me up and put me in his warm, heavy coat.

"Is that a dragon?" asked the other man.

"I think so." He paused as he bundled me up more. "He's freezing. We should get him to where it's warm."

I was carried to their house then and cared for by the brown haired man, Hakkai. I haven't left him since & I never will. This is the reason I went with this misfit group. Willingly or not, we are bound to each other like links in a chain. No one outside of ourselves can break us apart.

* * *

I can hear Goku & Gojyo arguing now. The Sanzo Party, that's what they call the four of them. It's a party all right. Being with the four of them together is like living in a war zone. You become desensitized to the chaos around you and learn to accept it quietly. Hakkai is a master who truly cares about me so I can handle being driven a bit roughly. Gojyo is the one who found me so I can put up with the burns I get from his cigarettes. Goku plays me so I can accept a practice hit or 2 from his Nyoi-Bo. As for Sanzo…most of the time I want to run him over. Every time he fires off his gun in my front passenger seat, I can swear my eardrums bleed. But, he's a friend of my master so I can tolerate him for now. The said man is now firing off the said weapon. I really don't like Sanzo. Things quickly quiet down and now there's silence. I hear Goku ask Hakkai how he could drive with his eyes closed & brace for the inevitable. As my master slams on my breaks harder than necessary, I can't help but ask myself how I can tolerate so much. I come to a screeching halt in a suffocating cloud of dust. I hear my master getting yelled at by the others for the sudden stop. I don't like it & decide I can't keep quiet anymore. I let out a "kyuu" gaining my master's attention.

"Are you alright, Hakuryu?" he asks, concerned that he may have inadvertently hurt me. My back will be a little sore later, but they don't need to know that.

"Kyuu kyuu," I reply. A slight pause as my master finds a translation.

"Hakaryu says he needs a rest," Hakkai states.

"What? In the middle of nowhere?" exclaims Goku.

"Apparently so," answers Hakkai. My master gets out of the driver's seat and the other three exit reluctantly. I turn back into my true form and perch myself on my master's shoulder. If I can tolerate their antics, they can tolerate some desert exercise. I grin on the inside. The truth is, I'm not tired at all. I throw a glance at the royally irritated Sanzo. But they don't need to know that either.

END

Chibisensei: Was it cute enough?


	6. Lirin: On Flour & Wagon Repairs

Chibisensei: Hello minna-san, Chibi here again. I know this update was slower than usual, but I was camping with my parents over the weekend which meant no internet :/ I did get the impish delight of scaring the crap out of my mother though by pointing out (on a remote hiking trail deep in the woods) that 1) no one was around to hear us scream if a bear attacked us and 2) that it was a real shame I forgot the map because I had no idea where we were or where we were going. I'm so mean, haha. Anyway, the Sanzo Party had their turn in the spotlight, now it's time for Kougaji's group to share their thoughts! Thanks again for the reviews, I really appreciate them :D Enjoy!

Warning: Parody with some language

Drabble summary: Is Lirin smart enough to fix a broken wagon?

Lirin: On the Topics of Flour & Wagon Repairs

I know I shouldn't be outside of the castle right now, but I can't stand being there all the time. Big Brother, Yaone, & Dokugakuji can leave whenever they like, so why can't I? I'm strong too! Who else could fly a giant boulder? I jump off the said boulder. I'm hungry. Maybe if I walk into town, someone will give me something. Humans are scared of demons so I could probably get all the free meat buns I want. Then again, no one ever takes notice that I'm a demon when I'm with Droopy Eyes or his friends so maybe not. I look at the dirt road leading into town. I pause. Hmmm, maybe I should park in town? I usually do, but the last time I landed on a meat bun stand and crushed all the buns. I don't want to wreak good food ever again. Then again, I don't want anyone hijacking my ride. It'll be hard to find another boulder to get home on. I got this one from Big Brother on my birthday. I hear loud cursing from behind me now. Is someone yelling at me? I turn to see a very angry human man storming towards me.

"You!" he yells.

I blink in confusion. "Me?"

"Yes, you! You and your damn rock ran me off the fucking road!" He points to the wagon in a nearby ditch. I guess he's too angry to notice that it's a boulder, not a rock.

I scratch the back of my head. "Oops, sorry 'about that!"

The man throws his hands up in rage. "Sorry? You're sorry? How the hell am I supposed to get all this flour into town for the Meat Bun Festival tonight?" That got my attention.

"Meat Bun Festival?" I ask.

The man slapped his hand over his face. "YES! I'm the best bun maker in town and now I can't participate because YOU just destroyed my damn wheel! I don't know how to change a wheel! Repairs are my brother's job!" Wow, this guy is really important. I look down at the ground, feeling guilty. Wait!

"Is the flour alright?" I ask.

The man growled. "Yes, but I can't carry it all into town by hand!"

I look to the wagon again. It looks like only the back wheel came off. I can fix that! "I can put the wheel back on!"

The human man took his hand away from his face to glare at me. "What do you know about fixing wagons?"

"Plenty!" I exclaim. "I know all about fixing stuff!" It was a lie, but how bad could it be? If I help the meat bun man get his stuff into town, then he'll be happy and give me meat buns! The man stares at me before sighing and gesturing for me to follow him. We reach the wagon and, as I thought, the back wheel came off. I examine the damage. It looks like the wheel came off of the round looking thingy that was sticking out of the side of the wagon. Unfortunately, the wheel was busted. The man reaches into the wagon and pulls out a bolt screwdriver thing, a few bolt things, and a spare wheel.

"Fix it," he states. I look at the items. I have no idea what to do.

"Okay," I say, a bit hesitantly. I try to put the wheel on the thingy, but it won't fit. The wagon had to be lifted somehow for me to get it on. I shrug and grab the back and lift it slightly. It comes up easily enough, but how to get the wheel on without dropping it? The man stares at me, his jaw dropped.

"Y-you're a demon?" he stammers.

I raise an eyebrow. He only notices this now? "Yeah, so?"

Now the guy looks nervous. "N-nothing," he says.

I shrug again and try to think. Let's see… I put the back of the wagon back down and pick up the wheel. "Here goes!" I yell. I use both hands to push the back end up high, letting go so I could quickly put the wheel on before it fell. To my horror, the back didn't come down. Instead, the wagon is now doing a handstand, just barely balanced on the two front wheels. Now it was too high for me to reach! "Crap!" I yell. The man does not say anything, but he is watching me. I'm not sure whether he is angry or scared.

I cross my arms. This is much harder than I thought it would be. A rumbling noise catches my attention. It's a car. No, it's a jeep. It's…the Sanzo Party? Great. Wouldn't you know they show up when I'm busy.

"Is that Lirin?" I hear the one ask. "What is she doing?"

"It looks like she's trying to change a wheel on that wagon," another answers. Laughter.

"Change a wheel? Seriously? Her?" says a third.

"Who cares, just ignore her," speaks the last. That one was Droopy Eyes. The jeep starts to slow. "Hakkai, don't you dare."

"We don't have to help her," says Hakkai. "We should help that man with his wagon though." The jeep stops. "Excuse me sir, do you need any help?" I look at the man. He looks relieved.

"Yes!" the meat bun man answers. "I was taking flour to town so I could make meat buns for the Meat Bun Festival when this demon ran me off the road with her giant rock!" He pauses as if he suddenly realizes something. "A giant rock? What the hell?" he whispered to himself.

"It's a boulder!" I yell defensively.

"Meat Bun Festival?" I hear Goku say. He jumps out of the jeep. "Come on, guys, we got to help this man!" He makes his way to the wagon and I growl. Oh no he doesn't! He's not going to take my meat buns!

"Back off!" I shout. "This is my job! My meat buns!"

Goku frowns. "You don't even know what you're doing! I want meat buns too! Let me try!"

"No!" I retort.

That Gojyo guy walks up, a cigarette dangling from his mouth. "You wouldn't know what you were doing either, monkey," he says. "Why don't you let the pros handle it?" He was gesturing to himself and the jeep's driver.

"NO!" Goku and I scream at the same time.

The red head backs off. "Woah…"

"Why don't you 2 compromise and work together?" suggests Hakkai. "They'll be plenty of meat buns."

Goku & I look at each other before looking towards town. I don't like him, but meat buns were on the line! "All right," I agree. "But this is only temporary!"

"Fine by me," says Goku.

The meat bun man is staring. "Meat buns? I didn't-"

"Don't say it," I heard Droopy Eyes say. "You don't want to get between those 2 and food." The man shut up.

* * *

It is evening when the Meat Bun Festival finally starts. So many meat buns! I am so excited that I don't care that I had to work together with the Sanzo Party anymore! I am going to go to the meat bun man's stand first! Just as I start to run, I run into someone. I look up. Uh oh…

"A Meat Bun Festival?" asks Big Brother. "You left the castle and had us searching for you everywhere for a Meat Bun Festival?" I am in BIG trouble.

I smile sheepishly. He's really mad. "Well, I had to do something first."

"Oh, like what?" he asks.

I search my mind for the right words. Big Brother will never believe that I changed a wagon wheel, but maybe he'll believe I did something that helped?

"Well, I screwed something," I said. His eyes widen momentarily before they narrow.

"Excuse me?" he asks.

I cross my arms and frown at the memory of screwing the wheel back on with Goku. "Yeah, that Goku told me I was turning the wrong way when I knew I was right! I'm not dumb. I know it gets tighter to the right and looser to the left."

Yaone and Doukugakuji are with us now and staring at me in shock. Yaone is blushing slightly with a hand over her mouth. Doukugakuji lets out a breath just short of a whistle and looks at Big Brother. I gulp. Now Big Brother looks really REALLY mad.

"Now Kou," Doukugakuji starts. "I'm sure it's not like it sounds…"

"Is the Sanzo Party here?" Big Brother demands. He's looking at me.

"I think they're still in town somewhere," I say.

"Good," he replies lowly, his narrowed eyes looking through the crowds. He turns to Yaone. "You watch Lirin. I have something to do."

"Yes, my Lord," nods Yaone. As I watch Big Brother stalk away with Dougakuji behind him, I only have 2 questions in mind. One: what did I say? And two: how come the humans here don't notice we're demons?

END

Chibisensei: I hope it wasn't too corny.


	7. Dokugakuji: On Memories & Brotherly Love

Chibisensei: Wow, the last chapter really sucked (O_O) It was my first attempt at a complete parody so I didn't think it would turn out fantastic, but yeesh, what a mess (x_x) I'll stay away from the crack from now on & stick to how I was originally writing. Anyway, please review to let me know how I'm doing. Enjoy!

IMPORTANT: I need your opinions on where to cut this story off. I can end with Kougaji (granted I still get reviews) or I could keep going through villains and such. I would like to go through some Gaiden characters as well, but it's up to you. Once again, if you have a character you want a drabble for or have a challenge character in mind, toss it to me in either a review or a PM & I'll come up with something.

Drabble summary: What does Dougakuji think about when he's sick in bed?

Doukugakuji: On the Topics of Memories & Brotherly Love

Kou gave me the day off today. I should rest, he said. From the tone of his voice, I knew it wasn't a request. Still, I don't why he's making such a big deal over a cold. I sigh as I turned over in my bed. Then again, of what use would I be to him in a weakened state. For all he's done for me, I can't allow my service to be half-assed. He deserves better than that. I burst into a fit of coughs. Gods, this sucks. I hear a knock on my door.

"It's me," says Yaone. "I've brought something that can help clear your lungs." I cringe. As much as I respect Yaone's talent with medicine and appreciate her help, sometimes the treatment is worse than the illness. In my case, I usually end up spending the next few hours attached to the toilet. Side effects.

"Come in," I say. She walks in with a small cup in hand.

"How are you feeling?" she asks, putting her free hand on my forehead.

"I'll live," I answer. She removed her hand.

"Your fever hasn't broken," she observes. "And judging by your dry coughing, I'd say you have bronchitis."

"Bronchitis, cold, what's the difference?" I mumble rhetorically.

She hands me the cup. "Here, this should help with the phlegm. I'll mix an antibiotic to fight the infection."

"Thanks," I say, looking at the cup in my hand. The gunk inside looked like liquid tar and smelled just as bad. I see Yaone begin to walk out of the room.

"I'll be back," says she, closing the door behind her.

"Alright." I turn my attention back to the medicine in hand. Why do I have a feeling I'm not going to like theis? Wrinkling my nose, I down it in one gulp and almost immediately start to feel it creeping back up again. Oh gods, this tastes worse than… Actually, this is the worst thing I've ever tasted. I grimace and lay back on the bed. I really hope it stays down because I really don't want to experience that again. I think I understand now why my little brother hated the doctor as a kid. I smile in reminiscence. I remember literally having to drag his ass there when he was 5. He kicked & yelled like his life depended on it, but there was no way I was going to let a walking tic-tac-toe board wander around town. In the waiting room, I had to hold him down in his seat. I thought Gojyo had finally calmed down when he stopped struggling in the examination room. But, as soon as the doctor moved to take his temperature, he bit his hand, kicked him the groin, & ran out of the room faster than a bat outta hell. I chuckle. My little brother must have had one hell of a kick because the doc was out cold for 10 minutes. I look up at the ceiling. To think, all that trouble over a simple case of the chicken pox. I hear another knock at the door.

"It's me again," speaks Yaone.

"Come in," I reply. She walks in carrying another cup.

"Here's the antibiotic," she says, handing it to me.

"Thank you," I reply. She smiles and turns to walk out of the room.

"I'll check in on you later."

I chuckle. "Alright doc." As I hear the door close again, I can't help but flashback to another time when I was sick. Mom thought I was dying & Gojyo, who was 7 at the time, actually believed it. He thought I was on my deathbed & offered to do anything I wanted. I admit I was tempted to take advantage of the situation, but the look of devastation on his face was enough to make me think twice about it. A half-smile tugs at my lips. That is one of the only times the words "brotherly love" comes to mind when I think about him. Those words have since left our vocabulary, but the memories of better times still remain, at least for me. I know he had it tough & I honestly wish I could have done more for him. Perhaps if I hadn't run away, he would have turned out differently. I shake my head. There's no time for regrets though & there's no changing the fact that we are enemies now. For now, that is how it has to be.

* * *

Coming back to the present, I reluctantly drink the antibiotic cocktail Yaone gave me. It was bitter, but not as nasty as the other stuff. I lye back down and close my eyes. Maybe one day things will be different, but, until then, my memories are enough; memories of the times when Gojyo wasn't such a damn brat. My eyes shoot open. Shit, not again. I jump out of bed & make a beeline for the bathroom.

END


	8. Yaone: On Morality & Beauty

Chibisensei: Hi all, Chibisensei here again. I am completely stressed over my lecture exam and lab practical in my human anatomy & physiology II class so most of my energy has been devoted to it, ergo updates may be slower. Anyway, this is Yaone's chapter and, as you may have guessed, the next chapter is Kougaji's. I noticed I don't many reviews anymore & I'm not sure whether it's because my drabbles suck or whether the characters I write about aren't interesting enough. I try, but I need to know what people want. I have received my 1st challenge character from NeonPink2011 & will write it after Kougaji. I thank those that have reviewed my story, those that are reading it, & those that favorite/follow it. Reviews are appreciated. Enjoy the chapter!

Warning: None that I can think of

Drabble summary: What does Yaone think about when setting the table?

Yaone: On the Topics of Morality & Beauty

I saw a ray of sunlight today. It is a rare sight in such a dark place, but, like most other things here, it is an illusion. The land around the castle is as dead as most of the souls within it & one ray of sunlight can do nothing. Or can it? I take 4 plates out from the cupboard. As much as I want to deny it, I know we're fighting a losing battle. The Minus Wave, the captivity of Lord Kougaji's mother, the war between humans and demons, the whole revival experiment…there's no point behind it. I harbor no hatred towards humans nor do I bear ill will against the Sanzo Party. I agree that is not moral to physiologically manipulate demons. They were brainwashed without choice or warning. How can something like that be right? The Minus Wave has turned this world into a hell on earth. So many innocent people have lost their lives & there's no doubt in my mind that many more will. It's disgusting & I can't help but have a sense of disgust towards myself. I was told many times I was beautiful, but how can I be when my actions help give justification to senseless murder? Human or demon, murder is still murder. So why do I continue to fight? Why am I here? The truth runs deeper than my loyalty to Lord Kougaji. He saved me & gave me a home when I had nowhere else to go. He shields me as best he could from the ugliness of his "step-mother's" ambitions by giving me domestic & medic duties over those of battle. He gives my life meaning. He is my life. I smile and open a drawer for 4 pairs of chopsticks. I will follow him no matter what &, so long as I am with him, I can look at myself in the mirror & see a good person; a beautiful person. Everything I am doing is for him. Lord Kougaji's desire is to set his mother free is noble & true; and although I don't agree with the things he is being forced to do, he does them to reach that sole goal. He is the most beautiful person I've ever known. I pull out the chopsticks and place them on top of the small stack of plates.

Yes, Lord Kougaji is nothing like Gyokumen Koushou. I crinkle my brow slightly. Lady Gyokumen, or so she likes to be called, is nothing but an ugly, filthy… I freeze my thoughts. No, I shouldn't think such things about her. Even if it is true. Still, what makes such a wicked woman believe that the man she is trying to revive will choose her over his formal wife? She's vain, vindictive, domineering, & an all around bitch. She bullies those who work for her and has the nerve to use the children of the man she wants to marry to further her own ambitions. Who in their right mind would want THAT for a wife? In a contest of beauty, both physical & not, she wouldn't stand a chance against Kougaji's mother. I bite my tongue. I'm being judgmental again. I pick up the plates. There is one thing I know for sure: if she ever breaks her word to Lord Kougaji, I will kill her myself.

"All you alright?" I hear a voice a side of me.

I "eep" loudly in surprise and the dishes fly from my hands. As is in slow motion, I see the plates and chopsticks on a crash course with the kitchen floor. On reflex, I try to grab them only to collide into the source of my surprise, who had, by then, had caught 2. I feel myself falling & instinctively grab the closest thing to regain my balance. I can hear the "crash" of shattering ceramics as an arm wrapped around my waist to hold me steady. I look up at my savior with an embarrassed blush.

"I'm sorry, Lord Kougaji," I apologize, sincerely. "I didn't see you and got startled."

He gives me a neutral look, but his eyes say he found humor in this. "I noticed." I hear footsteps barreling our way.

"Hey, is everything alright?" shouts Doukugakuji, running into the kitchen & stopping mid-stride. He scratches the back of his head awkwardly. "Oh…ummm, sorry." I'm confused. Lirin appears & raises an eyebrow.

"Big Brother," she starts. "If you wanna get kissy-kissy with Yaone, you have to wait till after dinner because I wanna eat." I see Lord Kougaji's jaw drop & my face flushes deep red. He still has his arm around me & we were less than a friendly distance away from each other. We break apart as if we were burned.

"It wasn't what it looked like," Lord Kougaji tells Lirin with a glare, although a faint blush was visible on his cheeks.

"Y-yes, I tripped & he just caught me," I stutter, dreadfully embarrassed. I saw unconvinced looks cross Dokugakuji's & Lirin's faces.

"Suuuuuure," replied Lirin, teasingly. "That's what they all say."

END


	9. Kougaji: On Parents & Leadership

Chibisensei: Yes, minna-san, this is Kougaji's chappy. Next up will be a challenge character (who will remain a surprise). After that, I'll probably try my hand at writing a villain (if I don't receive anymore request/challenge characters by then). I hope you enjoy! Remember, I like reviews & requests/challenges are welcome!

Warning: Er, I never actually read all of the original 8 volumes of the manga so I went off the anime since it revealed close to nothing on the subject

Drabble summary: How does Kougaji avoid being scarred for life?

Kougaji: On the Topics of Parents & Leadership

I grit my teeth as I walk stiffly through the hall. I had no idea anything could be so…so... I clench my fist. That was one experience I NEVER want to have again. I walk a bit faster than normal. It wasn't THAT bad. My pace picks up. Who am I kidding? I'd rather join up with the Sanzo Party then…ugh, even that's painful to think about! Still, it can't be as bad as… I growl lowly. Damn it!

I walk to where Mother is being held captive. I look at her. Even frozen in time, her presence is a comfort to me. I can never speak a word of what happened to anyone, but, with Mother, I never have to. I never had to. She never forced me to speak my feelings as a child, but was there if I wanted to. In truth, I was afraid to. My father was an overbearing man whose very presence demanded obedience. As his only son, he was very strict with me. A word of praise from him was more precious than gold to me, but, like gold, it was rare. He was in no way unkind to my mother, but he wasn't loving towards her either. That was not the type of man my father was. My father was the type who always got what he wanted, whatever that may be. In the case of sex, he took a mistress. I lost much respect for Father when I discovered he was not faithful to Mother. When that whore [Gyokumen] became pregnant by Father a light in Mother's eyes faded slightly. Having a mistress was one thing, but fathering a child with her was a different story entirely. I overheard Mother speak of it only once.

"No child deserves to be born to a mother who will care nothing for them," she said to a chambermaid. "And that woman will not care." Our castle was attacked not long after those words were spoken. Father was killed and Mother and I were sealed away. How SHE managed to escape is beyond me. When the seal on me was broken, I found myself with a young half-sister; a half-sister that, like what Mother predicted, was born to a mother who cared nothing about her. She didn't deserve it. I look upon my Mother's frozen face. I will never be able to forgive Father for his infidelity to Mother, however I can't bring myself to imagine what life would have been like without Lirin. She was the only good thing to come from HER. I do not deny my hatred for the woman who wishes to take Mother's place beside Father, but, for now, I have no choice but to bury it under a thin veil of obedience. I do not care whether the revival succeeds or not because our people [demons] follow me now. They may know his name, but they don't know him. They know me.

The ability to lead was a trait I inherited from Father. However, our methods could not be any more different. Father was charismatic, but ruled with an iron fist. He was as feared by our people [demons] as he was revered by them. I see no need for fear in my methods. As their Prince, I do what is in their best interest, not in mine. It was what Father did wrong. He did what he wanted without any consideration of the consequences. He was strong, yes, but he still fell. I will not. I want to be the leader my Father was, but I don't want to be like him. If he is revived, I have no plans to return to the submissive son I once was. So long as I have the respect of the people closest to me, I do not need his approval. I shake my head with a crack of a smirk. The only amusing thing about this whole thing is Gyokumen's assumption that Father would marry her. I doubt he would even appreciate the measures she took to revive him. I doubt he would appreciate anything that has been done for him. That was the man Father was. I look at Mother's face again. Mother appreciated everything that was done for her. So long as I get her back, I couldn't care less what happens to Father and his whore. Mother will be proud of my strength and skill in battle. She will be proud of my choice in allies. She will be proud of my sister. She will be proud of me. And that's-

"My, you seem to be thinking quite hard about something," says a voice, interrupting my thoughts. "A memory of what you witnessed earlier, perhaps?" I grit my teeth. Damn it, I had almost forgotten it too. I turn irritably to the bunny wielding man.

"What do you want, Nii?" I growl.

Nii shrugs carelessly. "Nothing. I just wanted to make sure you're not scarred."

"I highly doubt that," I growl again.

Nii shrugs again. "I must say in our defense that it wasn't unnatural." I feel my eye twitch as the memories I've been trying to distract myself from came back in a rush. I had been irritated with the mad scientist standing in front of me for interfering, once again, in my affairs. I had stormed down to his lab only to be told that he was using the facilities. He was using them alright…with Gyokumen. By the time I burst in, raw claw marks ran across the scientist's back and there was a whore-sized bite mark on his left shoulder. Smeared blood was on Gyokumen's hands as well as the floor; and that doll, that damn bunny, was positioned on the sink so that it could watch every moment! Clenching my fist, I storm past Nii.

"And where might you be going?" asks Nii.

"That's none of your concern!" I snap. I didn't bother to pay attention to whatever reply he came up with. I soon see Dokugakuji,

"Hey Kou," he starts. "You okay?"

I walk past him.

"Kou?" he questions, following me.

"Get Yaone," I command, not breaking my stride. "We're going after the Sanzo Party!"

END


	10. Jiroushin: On Reflection & Reincarnation

Chibisensei: Ugh, I studied so hard for that stupid practical & got screwed over by the 1 thing I forgot to look at. Anyway, here's the challenge chapter as requested by NeonPink2011. I'm busy as hell so I only got to reread parts of Gaiden for this one. I hope I don't disappoint!

Warnings: Yay, it's not depressing!

Drabble summary: What does Jiroushin really think about Goku's punishment in Gaiden?

Jiroushin: On the Topics of Reflection & Reincarnation

Aside from the normal politics of the higher ups (who, even I'm convinced, have something wedged in them somewhere), it is a peaceful day in Heaven. It is a day that makes me sigh inwardly as I make my way toward Kazenon's throne by the lily pond. I know how much the lack of excitement bores the hell out of the deity which almost always leads me to being either embarrassed or mortified by her less than holy attitude. It's on days like these I miss the days of five hundred years ago. Things were a lot livelier back then and Kazenon Botatsu actually got more work done. I sigh. Trying to get "her merciful laziness" to do something productive these days was like asking a fish to swim on land. She never listens to me. Sometimes, I don't know why I bother to waste my breath.

As I reach her side I notice that her gaze is fixed on the water of the lily pond. I sigh a third time, to myself. It looks like today I will be standing like a lifeless statue, doing absolutely nothing…again. She's no doubt watching Konzen and his group of misfits. Well, I suppose it's Sanzo and his group of misfits now. I look into the pond myself. The only member of that unruly bunch that has not been reincarnated is Goku. I close my eyes. There are some days I will never miss. Never.

When Goku was first brought to heaven, I admit I felt the same way about him as most of the others did. He was a heretic and a danger, but Botatsu felt otherwise. I try my hardest not to question her judgment and that time was no different. She gave him to Konzen to take care of. I'm not sure whether it was to help that introvert nephew of hers become godlier or for the twisted amusement of seeing him pissed. It may have been both. I was so certain that Konzen wouldn't be able to handle Goku that I actually made a bet on it. Ugh, I'll never do that again.

Through Konzen, Goku befriended Tenpou and Kenren (indirectly). Goku's personality was magnetic and I found my opinion of him changed in a short time. He wasn't a heretic, he was a child. A naïve, innocent child. It was around that naïve, innocent child that Konzen, Tenpou, and Kenren rallied and for that child they made their stand against Heaven…and died doing so. When I found out about the higher up's decision to imprison Goku in a mountain and erase his memories, I found myself agreeing with half of the decision Erasing Goku's memories was not as much of a punishment as Heaven believed it to be. Everyone he cared for was gone. They were the only ones who understood him for who he was, not what he was; and they accepted him, cared for him. He was alone. No, the cruelest punishment Heaven could have given was to imprison him with his memories. Given her attitude towards the order she was given, I knew that Botatsu would not erase his every memory. I had hoped she wouldn't. I hoped that there would be at least one thing she left for the boy so he could always have a small piece of the person, of the people, that cared about him. What she left was perfect: his name. I don't think I could have been prouder of her judgment then; and, although, I couldn't condone her disobedience, I couldn't disagree with it. I never will.

I open my eyes again. Kazenon still has her gaze set on the water. She hasn't even acknowledged my presence yet. I raise an eyebrow. Was what was going on in the lower world really that interesting? I look into the pond again to the picture of Konzen, Tenpou, Kenren, and Goku, no, Sanzo, Hakkai, Gojyo, and Goku, fighting an ordinary group of demons. There isn't anything new there, but it still gets me thinking. Konzen, Tenpou, and Kenren were cleared of the Jade Emperor's murder so why do their reincarnations go through so much suffering? Certainly their karma couldn't have been that bad. I frown slightly. The three I see now and the three from before are so different, and yet, the same. Genjo Sanzo, once the introverted, paperwork-obsessed Konzen Douji, is now an introverted, trigger-happy Sanzo priest. Cho Hakkai, once the eccentric, messy Tenpou Gensui, is now an eccentric, organized human turned demon. Finally, Sha Gojyo, once the perverted, alcohol and cigarette loving Kenren Taishou, is now, well, the same...except as a half-demon. I shake my head slightly. No matter what the differences are, there is one thing that still remains the same: they still rally around Goku…in their own ways. I would rather not think on whether that foreshadows a repeat in history. I turn away from the battle below and glance at Kazenon Botatsu. She now has the "bad smirk" on her face. I sweatdrop. There is one other thing that remains the same. For matters concerning that group, I always carry aspirin.

END


	11. Dr Nii: On Names

Chibisensei: *scratches head* Well, this chapter sent me to Wonderland. American McGee's version of Wonderland, that is. For those that know the reference, the star of this chapter should be pretty clear. For the record, Nii was very hard for me to do so please be easy on me. Enjoy and please review!

Warning: Come on, look at the character

Drabble summary: What does Dr. Nii think about during those long days in the lab?

Dr. Nii: On the Topic of Names

I let my cigarette droop to the left corner of my mouth as I stare at my computer screen lazily. Let's see…I wonder what the chances are of me being blown to bits would be if I clicked on this space right here. I take a puff off the cigarette as I make a few calculations in my mind. The odds come out to some 98.76854%. That would give me less than a 2% chance. I smirk. Those are good odds. After all, how do I know I'm really alive unless I tempt death?

Life and death. People like to delude themselves into thinking that the former reigns over the latter. I shake my head with a humorous smirk. Such flawed thinking is what makes things so interesting. I look as if to be the only one with enough objectivity on existence to understand that it is the opposite that's true. All of us are ink spots that the universe has to keep wiping clean. There is no significance in our existence. We simply are and then we're gone. I chuckle at the memory of my "student" asking me if there was a God before he was crushed to death. Of course there isn't. If there was, where is he now? I shift the position of the cigarette in my mouth. Even more humorous is that people don't understand what constitutes "life" and "death". I lean back in my chair, exhaling a puff of smoke. I've gone by number of different names growing up. Ken'yuu was my first name, given to me by loving and hard working parents. Each day they went through life believing that they mattered and, at one time, I might have believed that lie, but I was smart. I smirk. I remember my neighbors had a cat once. As a curious mind, it was my responsibility to question its subsistence. Was there a point to it being alive? I observed it for a while and found no evidence to support that. So why was it there? With a steady hand, I used my mother's best kitchen knife in search of the answer. It only took one cut for me to see the truth. The cat was there to satisfy my curiosity. It was there to be used for my own knowledge…and I did just that. The look of horror on my parents' faces when they discovered what I had done was a mirror opposite of the pride on mine. I chuckle lightly at the memory. It was then that I discovered that life was merely a tool to be exploited. There was no significance in it whatsoever. We are the pawns of the universe and the weak are the food of the strong. We feed off each other to survive and we will continue to feed until no one is left. I right myself up again and look at the computer screen again. Perhaps today will finally be the day my life will be exploited.

Not long after the discovery, I was sent away to school. Far away. There, I was hailed as a genius and excelled. It all came far too easy. I got into college at 13 and chose the hardest major available. To my delight, my peers were not as simple-minded as most, however, their views on reality were just as skewed. They also disgusted me.

My second name came after I received my PhD. Ukoku Sanzo. I was far too advanced to fail in getting that name, but why? Why couldn't I fail? Was there no one strong enough to eat me? I stare at the screen harder. Koumyou understood. He realized my truest desire before even I did. I want someone to be stronger than me. I want to be eaten.

"Hmmm, where do you think I should I should click?" I ask the stuffed bunny on my lap. I kept that "Ukoku Sanzo" name for a while, but, like with my first, evolved past it. I don't Now, I am Nii Jianyi. Names are just as worthless as the lives of those that own them so it doesn't particularly bother me which one I'm called.

"Dr. Nii, what are you doing?" I hear a huff from behind me. I swivel my chair around to face the speaker.

"What? You don't like Minesweeper?" I ask Dr. Hwang.

"You're supposed to be going over the data from our latest experiment, not playing around!" she retorts.

"My my, there's no need to raise your voice," I state. I swivel the chair back to the computer and move the mouse slightly. I double-click.

"There, you won," says Dr. Hwang impatiently. "Now can you actually do your job?"

I chuckle. "I suppose I can," I answer. For now, Koumyou, I am a feeder, but one day… I open a new game and click on the first square. One day…

Chibisensei: *sigh* I tried. Also, any requests?


	12. Kanan: On Weakness & Honesty

Chibisensei: I'm so happy that I got requests! Let's see… I got Kougajji's mother, Nataku, one of the Homura gang (probably will be Homura), and this chapter is Kanan's. The others I will do in no particular order although next chapter will probably be Nataku's. I've wanted to write a nice happy (you heard me, happy) Kanan chapter for a while because, well, there's too much angst surrounding her and I like her character. Enjoy & review!

Warning: NONE! This is a 99.9% angst-free chapter or your money back!

Kanan: On the Topics of Weakness & Honesty

I pout sullenly at the creation in front of me. Is it really possible to be THIS bad at something? I cringe slightly. Do I even need to ask myself that? Everyone has weaknesses. My greatest one is in cooking. I shake my head slightly. I try to get the recipes right, I really do, but they never come out like they're supposed to. Gonou tells me that there's nothing wrong with my cooking, but how can he really mean that when I added sugar instead of salt to our dinner last night? I smile slightly. He told me he found the gesture "sweet of me" and I couldn't help but laugh. Gonou always knows how to make me laugh. He has a talent for exploiting the hidden humor in situations. Sometimes I wonder how he does it. Just the other day, an angry parent came to our door regarding a lower than average grade Gonou gave his son. Gonou just listened calmly as the man made threats and shouted the most awful things. I tried to intervene, but Gonou turned to me with a smile told me he would appreciate it if I made some tea for him and the angry man. It struck me speechless on more than one level. Not only was he perfectly calm a volatile of situation, but he could also smile as if he didn't hear all the insults being yelled at him. I didn't want to leave, but I also knew that, although Gonou was not one for violence, he was perfectly capable of throwing the man out of our house. As I made the tea, I heard the one sided argument escalate to threats of violence and quickly quiet down. By the time I came out, the man was about to leave. He apologized to me for his behavior and hastily walked out the door. I didn't know what to make of it. I asked Gonou what he said to calm the angry man so fast and he smiled.

"I just told him that he was not setting a good example for his son," he said. I knew there had to be more, but the conflict was over so I thought it best to let the subject drop. Today, at the marketplace, however, I heard a rumor that the same angry parent was having an affair with one of the female teachers in the school Gonou teaches at. I shake my head. No matter how personal someone tried to make an argument, Gonou would never bring up such a rumor. With the guilty conscience that man probably has for betraying his wife, Gonou wouldn't have to. It does make me wonder though. How strong is Gonou? Also being an orphan, I know how essential it is to control your emotions, but so much? I pick up a pair of chopsticks. He's open with me, but not always completely honest. My cooking is the best example. He eats whatever I make without question, regardless of whether it's edible or not, and says it's good. That leaves me with two theories: either I completely destroyed his sense of taste or he can't bring himself to tell me the truth. Evidence leads me to think the latter. I hold my chopsticks hesitantly over what's supposed to be tonight's dinner. I confess that the sugar incident last night wasn't exactly an accident, but I need to know. In my defense, having something overly sweet is much better than having something bitter. Hesitantly, I taste my dinner and blink. It isn't too bitter, sweet, sour, or spicy. It isn't too…anything. It's normal. It's-and then it hits. I got it right! I finally got it right!

"I CAN cook!" I exclaim to the emptiness of the kitchen, chopsticks raised in triumph.

"You always could," came a voice from behind me. With my chopsticks still raised dramatically, I can feel a blush of embarrassment spreading across my cheeks. When did he get home?

I turn to him. "No, I couldn't…" I smile. "But today I can."

Gonou returns the smile. "Ah, so a weakness is turning into a strength?"

"So you were humoring my cooking!" I exclaim jokingly.

Gonou chuckled. "No, I just have a taste for it. Besides, everyone has weaknesses."

I raise an eyebrow. "Oh? And what would yours be?"

Gonou scratches the back of his head awkwardly. "Well, I seemed to have gotten my driver's license suspended today."

I look at him, completely baffled. "You have a driver's license?"

END

Chibisensei: See? I told you it wasn't angst! I hope you enjoyed!


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